I have this feeling right now that is close to the nostalgia I woke up with on Monday. But this is more of a longing for family and loved ones.
I was talking with my mother on the phone this morning, and in her calm yet frenetic manner of speaking, she talked about how she misses me and wants me to be happy and how she’s proud of me and etc. You know, Mom talk. But it was a comforting discussion.
I needed it.
Being in NYC, far away from family and Texas, can be very exciting but also very lonely. My roots aren’t here. I often have days where I ask myself, “What the fuck am I doing?” (New York is a great place to live, but it is also one that is very indifferent about you. It will go on no matter what.)
I have always been a homebody. I love to be at home, and I love to be near people I care about. I also like to be comfortable. (Comfort is a main part of our design with Take Off Your Clothes. And even my knit bondage series is about comfort. And having more power, but that’s a different topic…)
So, I’ve put together a plan.
Should they (whoever “they” are) give me the power to restructure the United States, I’d make only light changes.
The first being this, combining New York and Texas:
It’s a good start.
But this would make it even better, moving Portland, OR to Texas:
That would be beautiful.
In a fantasy world.
One of my favorite Sonic Youth lyrics is from the song “Tom Violence”. In it Thurston sings “I left home for experience.”
So, whenever I am a little down because I miss my family and faraway friends, I think of this song and remember why I’m here and why I do what I do.