My sister and I used to sing "Dammit Janet" back when we were in high school. But she didn't really know all of Janet's words, so I'd have to fill in for her.
"OH! It's nicer than the Betty Munroe had!"
Whenever one of our cats would meow when they were hungry or lonely or retarded, my sister would go, "Oh, baby!", imitating Frank when he moans/exclaims that as he rushes to the frightened/confused Rocky.
I found a 45 second clip to illustrate my point.
(He says it like…RIGHT at the end.)
I didn't do anything all weekend except run lots of errands with my younger sister on Saturday. (She drives and has a license; I do not.) And we also went to have lunch at this Vietnamese restaurant we like.
What'd we eat?
Oh, we shared tofu spring rolls (omg I always feel weird eating those in front of other people because they feel like a half-erect penis) and an order of garlic toasted tofu.
Most of today was devoted to watching movies online.
I'll tell you about them.
But the most important thing you need to know is that all of them were very, very good.
The first one I watched was this one I TRIED to watch last night called "The Host".
(I was about 40mins into the movie, but I pressed a button accidentally, which started the movie over… I was so pissed. And it was after 3AM, so I just decided to sleep.)
It's this Korean monster movie. Kinda like "Godzilla" and "Jaws" and such. (However, unlike "Jaws", the monster is shown quite early in the film.) I like it when movies don't turn out the way you expect them to. Like if "The Host" were to be made here in the US, it would've ended differently. Lemme tell you.
Watch the trailer:
Roger Ebert, who is one of my idols (shut up), said that the crowd fleeing scene toward the beginning of this film is probably one of the best ever made. That's his opinion. And I usually agree with his opinion.
I've been reading his movie essays for about ten years now. Seriously.
And he's heavily influenced the way I watch/interpret/judge movies.
And he's probably the only person whose opinion I actually take seriously when it comes to movies and films.
But I'm getting sidetracked.
So, after that I watched "Bug", which has Ashley Judd and Harry Connick, Jr. (you might know him as Leo from "Will and Grace"! … that was a joke) and this other guy who is a more major character than Connick… I just can't remember his name. He's a good actor, though. He played the original role on stage. (The film is based on a play. And it's directed by William Friedkin, who directed "The Exorcist".)
Oh, his name is Michael Shannon.
And the trailer sucks. I don't think it's indicative of the movie's nature at all.
But then, most movie trailers suck, so don't take it seriously.
(Pet peeve of mine: when somebody sees a movie trailer and says, "Omg, that's gonna be good!" Ugh.)
This was a really good movie.
So good that I probably never want to see it again.
Okay. That's not what I mean.
But let me tell you that I really did find this movie very frightening and fucked up. And it's not just the subject matter—it's the actors' performances, especially the characters Judd and Shannon play. God, it's so convincing, I think.
How can I put it?
This movie is like… being inside the mind of a person who's got a really bad meth problem.
It's so paranoid and delusional and insane that it's scares me.
I've realized I don't like to watch movies about the apocalypse or movies in which characters are part of the endangered human species and they must fend for themselves (as in zombie movies… dunno why I watch them, though.) (But just because I don't like to watch movies like that, it doesn't mean that I can't find them good. It's just that I'd prefer to watch something that WON'T fuck with me the way those movies do.) And "Bug" is sorta like that because it's about a couple people having to fend for themselves, in a way. You know the way paranoia works…
And so after that…
I was in the mood for something a bit more lighthearted and fun(ny):
I wanted to see what all the fuss is about, so I decided to watch "Superbad".
(I'm not going to include a movie trailer because the DVD commercials for this movie are on television a lot of times throughout the day.)
What can I say… It's funny! The jokes are great—and most of them I wish I would've come up with myself.
(You have to start calling blowjobs "blowjay's" (blow-j's?), okay?)
But the thing about this movie is that there's a core to it. And the characters actually have souls.
Does that make sense?
Like… you know how on shows like "Family Guy" and "Strangers with Candy", it's basically nonstop jokes? It's like the characters are always "on". (This is a reason why I know "The Simpsons" is better than "Family Guy": the Simpsons are a family that loves each other, and the show knows when to be serious and how to handle the comedy. Or rather, the show knows when to be funny and when not to be funny. This is unlike "Family Guy", where not much substance has been revealed throughout the episode, just backstories and analogies and flash backs.)
(But don't get me wrong, I really like "Family Guy" and "Strangers with Candy". I'm just letting you know what separates those shows from more substantial comedy.)
Well, "Superbad" knows when to be funny and when not to be.
Maybe not even that. But there's something there. There's a story, a good one about best friends.
Plus, it has that cute kid from "Arrested Development".
(But you know he'll just get ugly when he gets older. That's a shame when that happens to people. I think they should get more attractive. Like… have you SEEN what JJ from "Good Times" looks like now?! BLECH. But John Amos, the father in that show, looks the same, just older and with greyish hair!)
I've probably said too much.
I used to get paid to write movie reviews for the university paper.
So… there ya go.
(Oh, I also used to want to be a film critic like Ebert… I suppose I was for awhile.)
Check out those movies.
Do you know this site: Alluc.org ?
You can watch a lot of movies and TV shows and documentaries and shit on there.
(There used to be a better site run in the UK called TV-links.co.uk, but it got shut down and the guy that ran the site got arrested. Damn shame. It had a much more attractive layout than Alluc.org.)
NOTE: It's ALL YOU SEE. Alluc. all you see. ALLUC. all u c. Get it? I didn't until forever.
Be good, lovers.
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