squeeze my dreams

I wrote this note to myself because I'm horrible at remembering people's birthdays.
(My own even quietly creeps up on me.)

reminder to call home

I finally got a hold of my mother so that I could wish her a happy birthday—and by the sound of her voice, I could tell something was wrong. She was upset about something.

I kept asking her if she was all right.

And then…
She just starts bawling her eyes out on the phone with me.

Me: "Mom, what's wrong? Are you okay…?"
Mom: "No! I turned FIFTY!" (And then some more weeping followed.)

I didn't know how to respond.
So, I just started laughing a lot.
Because, really, I thought she was being a bit (very) ridiculous.

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HEAVEN FORGOT FOR YOU

Today I was walking to the grocery store to go buy some stuff for lunch and I saw a mother and her ducklings in the water looking for food to eat. At first I thought it was really cute because I'd never really seen a mother and her ducklings together like that except for things like the zoo or in photos…

mother and ducklings

mother duck

But then as I was shooting the photos I realized that the ducks were swimming in trash and cigarette butts and stuff. So sad—especially because I have a sore spot for cute things like that. But this scene just sorta brings you back to reality.

The reality being that New York is a polluted place, I guess.

This last photo is kinda cute, though:

mother and her ducklings

The trash isn't as noticeable.

Anyway, it was a really nice day today.
Ben J., Sarah C. (I call her Crompy), and I went outside to eat lunch and look at the sparrows and sea gulls and geese and pigeons—well, not so much the pigeons, I don't like them. (Ben and Crompy both worked for me today. Crompy and I worked on a wholesale order, and Ben worked on cleaning up my workspace. He's good at that; I'm not. I also worked on some custom orders.)

It's been a good day.

I still have a meeting to go to this evening; those always put me in a bad mood…

We shall see!

ALSO, last night Ben and I went to the World Financial Center to pick up our tickets for the free SonicYouth/TheFeelies concert in Battery Park. (You had to make reservations for these tickets on June 12th. You get two of them.) We got there and thought it'd be really simple, but there was this LONG line… He hadn't eaten and was feeling sick already—and has sore and aching, too—so he had to leave after awhile.

That really bummed out because I wanted Meredith S. and he to go with Lillian G. and me to the show.

But when I got to the front of the line, I thought I'd just TRY and see if I could get his tickets, too, since he had to leave. And I ended up getting them!

I just had to prove I was friend. (That involved giving his last name, email address, and phone number.)

So, yeah…
next Friday (July 4th) we'll all be seeing Sonic Youth and the Feelies (a rare performance apparently).

x
c

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OSXMAS

I knew that I blogged too early today…

I forgot to add this to the other post:

"P.S.
Another good thing about the Bust Spring Fling was that there were a lot of attractive people. It was frustrating for my eyes—and my brain. Especially since I'm sorta dating someone as it is.

I just really like looking at attractive people.

And I hate it, too."

In other news, I brought back an old design of mine:

FRENCH LOVE AND L’ALCOOL

FRENCH LOVE AND L’ALCOOL

It reads:
"Moi, je veux te dire que je ne te quitterai jamais. Et puis, si tu es triste, je pourrais toujours te donner un peu d'alcool pour te rechauffer le coeur."

It's something my friend (and ex-neighbor) Émilie from back home wrote me once.

It basically means this:
That she'll never leave me. And if I'm sad, she can always get me drunk to warm my heart again.

There was some other stuff in the note she wrote me, but I forget what was in there.
(I think the rest said something about how booze is the next best thing if we can't do it with our bodies.)

(Wait, was that a come on?!)

I THINK she wrote me that when I flipped out a couple years ago and didn't leave my bed for three days. (I had stopped taking my antidepressants all of a sudden and ended up calling my mother at 2 or 3AM, bawling my eyes out for no good reason. That was the eve of not leaving my bed.)

Anyway, I think I'm gaining weight again.
I feel more cushion.

Damn Andrea G.
Damn pizza.
Damn beer.

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new collage

I made this the other day.

germs

germs (full view)

germs

germs

germs

germs

When I was cleaning up, I dropped my tub of green paint on the floor and got green paint on my wall. =/
I just realized that today.

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oh, jeez… (continued)

Okay, so, "My Best Friend's Wedding" is over. I started crying like a baby (or like my mother) at the end. My mom used to (and still does probably—I dunno, I live in my own apartment now) bawl her eyes out at the end of movies. I remember back when I was in middle school, I was watching "Gone with the Wind" in my room and my mom was watching it in hers. When it was over, I went to her room and she looked like she just heard her parents died or something.

So… I think I'm randomly over emotional about some things. Just like my mother.
She's good people.

She bought me this MOM tattoo on my 20th birthday.

88998385_0815e91d06

And no, my mother did NOT take that photo of me. That'd be creepy in the bad way.
It's funny to joke about, though. I like making incest jokes.

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