SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
10.23.14

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 10.23.14Hi, it’s Thursday. (Took this photo first thing this morning but just finally getting around to posting it.)

It’s rainy. It’s cold, but I’m still in an okay mood. Just a little tired. I didn’t really eat dinner last night, just drank a lot of coffee so that I could be up when Ben got home around 1AM. I wanted to hang out, but my coffee plan backfired. I felt really nauseous by the time he got home and almost got sick. Bummer. But hey, I’m good overall.

The week has been a bit of a blur. I can’t really recall a lot. Monday morning was a good morning. A lot of intense physical sensations coupled with excitement at the news that Sleater-Kinney are releasing a new album in January. So, there’s that.

On Tuesday I went to my friend Juan Betancurth‘s studio at the Queens Museum, where we worked on a project together: he tied me up to a wall and videotaped me for over two hours. Well, I wasn’t really tied up. I was tethered with this rappelling gear and just did a video performance where I sort of explored the feeling of the straps on my body and being bound with some freedom of movement. It was an interesting experience… My head felt really empty afterwards. I was drained and my skin was red from the straps and had little cuts from the gear digging into me.

It’s weird going out to the Queens Museum. I haven’t toured the museum yet. Just been to Juan’s studio. But it seems kinda deserted and odd. It’s at the same place the 1964 World’s Fair took place. There’s this huge skeletal globe and some old observatory towers. The park around the museum is huge and empty. It takes forever to get out there. It’s a bit of a trip. Mentally and literally.

In other news, I’m looking forward to having the weekend off, then gearing up to work a lot next week. Whatever, I need the money.

I’m toying around with some painting ideas in my head. I stayed up late painting but wasn’t happy with what I was experimenting with. It’s tough because what I see in my head is a lot different from what I’m able to paint at the moment.

I think the things in our heads always look a little different when we make them a reality, though.

xo
craig

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
10.16.14

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 10.16.14

Hi, happy Thursday!

This morning I woke up, and it was so drizzly. I had a flashback to April and being in Oregon, driving through winding roads in the deep woods. Listening to Neil Young from his synth phase. A little stoned. But all that is changed, and it’s kinda pleasant out again. That’s fine. But I had a little dog in bed with me, so I could’ve totally slept in.

Having the dog is great, and it makes me really happy. The tough part is her diverting my attention away from the relationship. I guess that’s something grownups have to deal with when they have children…? I feel like everything requires a lot of work. Maybe things don’t ever get easier, but we’re steadily employing more and more skills we learn as life goes on in order to tackle the next big thing. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I promise this won’t become the dog blog. (I’m just sort of obsessed.)

In other news, I had a studio visit this week. It was weird pulling out all of my work and having someone go through it all. It all took me back to the old days. I thought about who I was living with or where I was living or having to work in a big studio with a bunch of other people. A lot of it I can’t even remember making. Well, actually that’s not true. But I can’t get into the same mindset. It almost feels like someone else made the work. Maybe that’s a common feeling among artists, though. Make one thing and move on to the next.

If you’re lucky.

No big plans this weekend besides a vet trip and this painting I’m excited to work on. Mainly just working.

Try to have more fun than me.

xo
craig

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
10.9.14

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 10.9.14

It’s Thursday.

I guess things are still the same. I feel like I’ve been working a lot because my days—now that I sit down and think about it—have mostly been a blur. Everything’s become a lot more regimented in a way I wasn’t expecting because of Chilly, our dog. I sort of expected the dog to work around my schedule, but she’s the one who wakes me up to go out for a walk. And she must be fed at the same times, so we have no choice but to be at home at 10PM every night to take her out and feed her. It’s a good feeling, though. Doesn’t feel like a chore. (Btw, I post a lot of pics of her on my Instagram.)

Last night I went to see Jo read her Andrea Dworkin piece at the feminist bookstore in the LES. (Ben came, too, which was really nice.) It was really hot and crowded at the bookstore, and I almost didn’t go because I was feeling tired and wanted to keep painting. BUT I reminded myself that Jo’s been researching and working on this for a long time, so get out of your head, Craig, and GO. I ended up really connecting with the things Jo read, including responses to some of the more painful questions from the audience. The other person who read was not as enjoyable to listen to. She was more playing the part of a feminist writer than just flat out being herself: a whiny, entitled intellectual. (Throwing shade at Seagull didn’t help her out in my mind either, haha.)

It was too hot in that bookstore.

Ben and I came home and ate some dinner. We hung out for a bit, then did our own things. He worked on a project until late; I stayed up in bed watching these interviews David Lynch did with random people from small American towns a little while back. They’re kinda weird and funny. But I fell asleep with the lights still on and my laptop open. That’s always really disorienting.

Anyway, have a good weekend!

xo
craig

 

 

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
10.2.14

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 10.2.14

Hi!

So so sorry. I’ve missed two posts this month. But this month has been really crazy and unusual. It’s been really good. Going out of town, people coming in town.

But the most recent development: I GOT A DOG! Finally! After about five years of whining about how I don’t have one, I finally got one! Ben and I adopted this little chihuahua, who was a stray in Oklahoma. It happened really fast. One day I came across her listing on an adoption site. One week later she was being transported from OK to NYC. I’m still in shock. I haven’t even had her a week. She’s just made me immensely happy. I wake up in the middle of the night and see her in bed and smile. (Usually she’s looking back at me and wanting a belly rub.)

This morning I woke up in a mood. I was feeling depressed about stupid things, but then I saw Ben and Chilly (short for Xochitl, also responds to Peanut) lying in bed sleeping and it lifted my spirits. Like, why feel bad about things I don’t have when I have two creatures in my bed that love me a lot? I felt silly and grateful.

I can actually go on and on about the dog, but I won’t. I’m sure she’ll keep getting mentioned in the future. I promise.

In other news, not much else is going on. Just gearing up to make more work. I have a couple studio visits planned for the next week or so. Pretty excited about that.

And pretty excited about this weekend. I’m ready to chill out. Usually September is such a weird, dull month. I feel like once you’re out of school, September has no real meaning. It’s just sort of an in-between month, which is why it’s weird that this one has been so busy.

Anyway…

xo
craig

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
9.18.14

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 9.18.14

Hi. Happy Thursday!

Sorry for not posting last week. I’d just gotten back from Provincetown late the night before. I worked all Thursday on not enough sleep. And then hung out with my sister and brother-in-law literally all of Friday. From around 9AM to 10:30PM.

Provincetown was really great. Like really great. I was only there a few days, but was pretty sad to leave. Normally I can’t wait to get back to NYC, but this time I was sorta dragging my heels. Everyone I met was very nice and welcoming. It was sorta like a bigger Cherry Grove but with more to do—and the beach isn’t the main focus. Anyway, we installed my paintings at the gallery. So, if you’re around, go check out the work at Four Eleven Studio.

It was fun having my sister in town for the day. My brother-in-law had never been to NYC before so I showed him SO MUCH NYC. I can’t really remember the last time I went for it like that. Or if I’d ever gone and done so many touristy things in one day… It was intense, but actually a lot of fun. And we ate so much food, too.

This week has been back to normal. I woke up sad on Sunday morning that things were regular again. I’m just working a lot this week and sorta working a lot next week, too. But I need the money. And everything good has to end at some point.

The plus side is that I’m feeling a sort of shift in the kind of paintings I want to do—and how I do them.

AND I got new clear glasses.

xo
craig

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
9.4.14

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 9.4.14

Happy Thursday, friends. I sorta feel like I’m dressed like a waiter today. But it’s a pleasant morning. Let’s hope it stays that way.

Really the only thing on my mind is getting off work and going to Provincetown. I’m not leaving until really early Monday morning, but still—I still have the next couple days off to look forward to.

Gotta do some last minute framing tomorrow. I’d just been staring at this big box of frames for a couple days, reluctant to open it because “What if they’re broken?” or “What if they sent the wrong sizes or colors?” That kinda thing. I do think I’ve been stressing myself out over little things. I’m not as stressed as last week. Definitely not. My tensions have definitely been eased. I feel a little anxious about venturing into something new. And even though I may not come off as anxious in person, I can tell something is going on because I haven’t been feeling like working out. And there was this one day where I pretty much ate Caribbean pastries all day…

I hate complaining, though. I think it’s a very unsexy/unappealing thing to do.

In other news, I’m excited about my sister coming up for the weekend right when I get back from P-town. And my friend Andrea is coming for a week at the end of the month. I’m excited!

And now that I’m saying this, I think part of my feeling anxious is stemming from feeling excited. Feel excited about exhibiting the art I’ve been steadily working on all year. Also excited about having good people come visit. It’s hard to connect on a certain level with a lot of people in NYC. So, it’s nice to have that kind of energy around.

But maybe it’s just naive to expect to have a deeper connection with a lot of people. Maybe you really only get a handful of people in your life that you really connect with.

xo
craig

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
8.28.14

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 8.28.14

 

Hey there. It’s Thursday! I’m posting later than I’d like, but it’s been pretty busy at the salon. Plus, I had some other writing to do for the salon. And you know what, it’s actually hard to write at the salon because the phone rings a lot. Or I am called to do something. My train of thought gets broken up.

So, the past week I’ve been in worry mode about getting everything in order for the Provincetown show. Like to the point where I wake up at 4:30AM and can’t go back to sleep—I know I’m awake when my toes start to wiggle—and I’m just thinking “Well, how am I going to do this…?” and “How am I supposed to pay for that…?” The logistics of everything have been getting to me, so I’ve been getting out of bed, taking my pillows to the living room, putting on anything random on Netflix, taking a couple hits off the bowl—just bought some White Widow!—and forcing myself to watch and chill. Eventually I fade back to sleep. You know, when it’s time to wake up and get ready for work. 

But I woke up this morning and decided to get into solution mode and restructure my thoughts so that I’m not going crazy. And the day’s been great.

Ben’s birthday was this past weekend, and it was so fun! We partied really hard on Friday night… Didn’t get to bed til almost 5AM. (I never do that. I always get sleepy around 11PM.) We had friends in town, too. Our good friend Meredith, who actually introduced us way back in the day one snowy morning at Vassar, was in town. And these guys Aaron and John, who are in this rad band from Portland called Nurses, were in town recording their new album. So, there was good company and lots of laughs. 

It was a very spendy, decadent weekend that I was happy to have. And that I was happy to have over. My body needs to recuperate. I’m 30!

xo
craig

 

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY
8.21.14

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 8.21.14
Hey friends. Happy Thursday.

Woke up a bit hungover this morning. Headache and ravenous. And my body was warm. I felt like a Hot Pocket. Put on some clothes and flip flops and went looking for a breakfast sandwich, but the place I went to was closed. So, I bought a currant roll, a coconut roll, and some bread pudding from the Caribbean bakery I go to (too much). I still feel a little out of it, but that’s what you get when you drink three Brooklyn Lagers on an empty stomach.

(I’m also a lightweight…)

I have some painting to do this evening.

Which reminds me: the Provincetown show is for real happening. I’ll be in Provincetown pretty shortly. Just September 8-10. But yeah, I have a deadline of next Friday to ship the framed paintings to the gallery. It’s pretty exciting. And I still gotta get stuff together. And I know I’ll be a little stressed making sure everything looks okay. But this is a good thing. And I’m happy to get this going. I hope it’s the first of many shows.

It’s coming up so soon, too!

Right when I get back from Cape Cod, my sister and her husband will be in Jersey that weekend. So, that will be great. I’m excited to see her. (Then I’m planning on flying her to NYC to October so she can stay longer.) Good things coming up in September.

Ben’s birthday is this weekend! He’s turning 30, too. I’m excited to spend the weekend with him. I still have to find just the right birthday card for him, though… I’ll let you know how his birthday weekend goes.

xo
craig

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
8.14.14

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 8.14.14

Hey friends. Happy Thursday.

Sorry I missed last Thursday… I feel like I had a pretty good reason for not posting last week. But I can’t remember. Either it was a stressful day OR it was laundry day and I looked like shit. Who knows. But I’m here now!

I’m still feeling a little stressed out. Just getting things in order for the show in Provincetown. It’s not like there’s a crazy amount of things to do. I have a feeling I might be overreacting. I just want things to go smoothly and to look nice.

It’ll be fine, I know. I just need to stop being a little bitch.

I think I’ve also been mourning Robin Williams! I never thought about him very much. I just knew he was an actual actor. Like a really, really talented guy who was in some movies I’d seen. He was the real deal. But to find out this man, who’s usually all smiles, takes his own life… It really messes with your head.

I keep seeing random posts on Facebook or Twitter about his death. Like “Suicide is so cowardly” or “It’s his right to commit suicide’. Things like that. Really oppositional sides. Of course, it’s the internet! You’re either with us or against us. Does anybody exist in the middle anymore?

Personally I get upset about people taking their own lives. My father’s father killed himself when my father was pretty young, and it’s always made me mad. I couldn’t imagine ever doing that or ever having that happen. I get upset about the emotional state a suicidal person is in. But I also get upset about all the loose ends and hurt people that are left behind. Like, how is that fair to your children to do that? I think suicide is a sad and selfish act.

There. I said it, internet.

But on another note, on the day he died, a friend and I were walking in the East Village and passed by Gilbert Gottfried, who did the voice of Iago the parrot in “Aladdin”, which Robin Williams was also in—as Genie. I remember seeing that movie in the third grade, and it really inspired me to learn how to draw. The lines that made up Genie really stuck with me, and the first thing I did when I got home that night was draw.

So, there’s that. (Sorry, didn’t mean to take it there.)

xo
craig

PS
I re-watched “Aladdin” in the past year or so. It still holds up!

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
7.31.14

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 7.31.14

Hey friends. Happy gray Thursday.

You can’t tell from the photo, but I’m totally channeling this guy’s look. Got my tank top tucked into my pants and everything. It’s a photo of some Bushwick dude back in the 70s. (I’m actually convinced that Bushwick still looks like that.) All I need is a long necklace. I’m going to be commissioning one from Walt Cassidy some time soon… I wear the bracelet I got from him everyday. I feel naked without it.

Not that nudity is a bad thing.

My week has been good. Was in the Berkshires all weekend. It’s very green and winding. I like driving in a car through forests when it’s dark outside. It’s scary and exciting at the same time. I’m always a little nervous being in a car because you just never know… But it’s nice being locked inside away from evil forest spirits. You’ve seen Evil Dead. You know how it goes.

We stayed in this pretty rad house that used to be a mill.  (What exactly is a mill?) Apparently Hitchcock stayed there before so there were some of his movies and mystery books laying around the house. There was a creek that ran behind the house, so we slept with our window open to listen to the running water all night. It was really nice. I love being in the forest.

I got to see Mass MOCA. They had a really great Sol LeWitt exhibition that did a lot more for me than the one at Dia:Beacon. Visually it was more exciting to me—to the point where I remember exclaiming aloud “Ooooo!” and slapping Ben on the shoulder excitedly. (I think the last time that happened was when Amy Poehler showed up to that New Year’s Eve party I was at a couple years ago…)

Not much else on the horizon besides prepping paintings for the Provincetown show. There are actually a couple I need to reproduce. Then framing. Then shipping. Then planning my visit there.

Have a good weekend.

xo
craig

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